Friday, 1 April 2011

Candid Confessions...


It took me almost 21 years to finally get here but as they say, it’s never too late. I am going to make the most of it now. 


Am I resigning myself to an almost magnetic pull that has surrounded me throughout my life? Truth be told, I am glad that I am doing it, glad that I finally realized it and glad that I know where my strength lies. 

Some ten years back, I wasn't even aware of this almost divine power that always enveloped me or rather envelops me.

I fell and I knew you would hold me, I cribbed because I knew ways to persuade you, I cried to emotionally blackmail you; and eventually all my tantrums and techniques worked. As a result, I started understanding you and you started figuring me out.

Mom, I see you working day and night, mostly in kitchen, tired and exhausted. But I see you smile even when you are sweating. I come home and I sleep, I have no time to talk about what’s happening in your life, not because I don’t want to, it’s just the lack of time( I tell myself). College, studies, theatre and books, I am lost in my own little world. I know that you don’t even think about it because your love for me is unconditional and selfless. Have I started taking you for granted? No, I think that’s not the right way to put it, I am pretty sure you will always be there, so I think it’s my over confidence on you that has made me a little careless.

I have seen you growing up with all three of us, in fact four of us (including Papa). I have seen you using our “lingo”, I have seen you taking my phone calls and trying to strike a chord with my friends. I adore it when you sit right next to Papa, while he is driving, and teach him driving lessons in your own way. I love it when you innocently try to connect yourself to “our world” and don’t find it appalling. I remember the day when you held my hand and told me that my life has just begun and that I don’t need to care about anything. I feel motivated when you come and tell me, “The day you were admitted to Kinder Garten, I was apprehensive if you would ever be able to hold the pencil between your tiny little fingers. But you did it”. When you say, “life is not hard”, my heart tells me, “may be it’s not” and I am puffed with confidence. Mom, you make my life easy.

Six-seven years from now, I will be married. I will wake up looking at all new faces in the morning (I am scared to even think of it right now). But eventually, it will become a habit. I’ll start understanding them and they will start figuring me out. I don’t know if I will ever find someone as selfless, as concerned, as loving and caring as you are (I know I won’t). I’ll be a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother; life will change and same goes with the priorities. Once again, I will be busy with my own little world. But like always, you will be my strength, you will be the one I’ll always look upto because your one touch gets me going. Today, your daughter makes a candid confession and declares to the world that you are not just my mom, you are my Supermom. You have always been special and will remain so.






5 comments:

  1. >it is lovely. i have nothing much to comment though.actually nothing at all to say.just that u took it very long to realize..:P lol..n all the best..u will be a great mother yourself also..:) bus looks mat dio..ha ha :D p.s.: btw whatever u are right now..n u will be you owe it all to her..n in a way we all owe it to her. so specially for her " love you aunty " mwwaahhh

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  2. >hey hey hey!! such a sweet one! I loveit. :)

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